Valerius Maximus, Memorable Deeds and Sayings 8.7.ext.13

Simonides vero poeta octogesimo anno et docuisse se carmina et in eorum certamen descendisse ipse gloriatur. nec fuit inicum illum voluptatem ex ingenio suo diu percipere, cum tantam omni aevo fruendam traditurus esset.

Simonides the poet himself boasts that in his eightieth year he both led rehearsals of his poems and entered a poetic competition. It was not unfair for him to take that delight in his genius for so long, since he was to hand on such great enjoyment to all future ages.

Valerius Maximus, Memorable Deeds and Sayings 1.1.20

Q. autem Fulvius Flaccus inpune non tulit, quod in censura tegulas marmoreas ex Iunonis Laciniae templo in aedem Fortunae equestris, quam Romae faciebat, transtulit; negatur enim post hoc factum mente constitisse. quin etiam per summam aegritudinem animi expiravit, cum ex duobus filiis in Illyrico militantibus alterum decessisse, alterum graviter audisset adfectum. cuius casu motus senatus tegulas Locros reportandas curavit decretique circumspectissima sanctitate inpium opus censoris retexuit.

Quintus Fulvius Flaccus did not escape unpunished when, during his censorship, he transferred the marble tiles from the temple of Juno Lacinia to a temple of Equestrian Fortune which he was constructing in Rome – certainly it is said that after this deed he was never again in his right mind. And, to be sure, he did die amid the greatest mental sickness, after hearing that one of his two sons had died fighting in Illyricum, and the other had been seriously wounded. The senate, which was distressed at his misfortune, ensured that the tiles were brought back to Locri; by the most well-considered holiness of its decree, the senate undid the censor’s impious deed.

Valerius Maximus, Memorable Deeds and Sayings 1.1.5

Roman religious ceremonies had to be performed just right. Here are a mitre mishap and a mouse mishap:

at <Q.> Sulpicio inter sacrificandum e capite apex prolapsus idem sacerdotium abstulit, occentusque soricis auditus Fabio Maximo dictaturam, C. Flaminio magisterium equitum deponendi causam praebuit.

While Quintus Sulpicius was in the middle of performing a sacrifice, his mitre slipped forward off his head, for which his priesthood was taken away. And because a mouse’s squeak was heard, Fabius Maximus had to resign the dictatorship and Gaius Flaminius the post of Master of Horse.

Valerius Maximus, Memorable Deeds and Sayings 2.7.init.

venio nunc ad praecipuum decus et ad stabilimentum Romani imperii, salutari perseverantia ad hoc tempus sincerum et incolume servatum, militaris disciplinae tenacissimum vinculum, in cuius sinu ac tutela serenus tranquillusque beatae pacis status adquiescit.

I now come to the Roman Empire’s chief glory and mainstay, which has been preserved entire and unharmed, through beneficial steadfastness, to the present time, namely the firmest bond of military discipline: in its bosom and under its protection rests the fair and tranquil state of blessed peace.

Valerius Maximus, Memorable Deeds and Sayings 8.14.ext.5

In 356 BC an arsonist by the name of Herostratus burned down the temple of Artemis at Ephesus (famous as one of the Seven Wonders). Needless to say, the Ephesians weren’t best pleased.

illa vero gloriae cupiditas sacrilega: inventus est enim qui Dianae Ephesiae templum incendere vellet, ut opere pulcherrimo consumpto nomen eius per totum terrarum orbem dissiceretur, quem quidem mentis furorem eculeo inpositus detexit. ac bene consuluerant Ephesii decreto memoriam taeterrimi hominis abolendo, nisi Theopompi magnae facundiae ingenium historiis eum suis conprehendisset.

Here is a case where the desire for glory was sacrilegious. For a man was found who wished to set fire to the temple of Diana at Ephesus, so that by the ruination of a most beautiful structure his name would be published across the entire world. This madness of his mind he disclosed while sitting on his colt. And the Ephesians had well decreed that the memory of this most repulsive man should be obliterated – but Theopompus, the genius of great eloquence, included him in his Histories. 

Note that Valerius piously avoids naming the man.